


S-P-End

by NiceSideOfTheMoon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fix It, M/M, One Shot, Or Is It?, Parody, This is my ending for supernatural, but not really?, destiel i guess, i'm sorry in advance, maybe i should have watched the show in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27603205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiceSideOfTheMoon/pseuds/NiceSideOfTheMoon
Summary: “Jack, I’m very thankful for everything you’re doing. I just don’t think a hot woman alone can end my sorrow.”“I understand Dean.”“I’m just saying, it’s not that I don’t like hot women, it’s just. I’m hurtin’ a lot right now and I think it needs more than just someone pretty to kiss my wounds.”“No Dean. I totally get it.”“Yeah, so, Jack, I don’t want to impose but like… Could you…”Jack lifted a hand to symbolise Dean it was time to be silent. “You want a dog right?”“Hell yeah, man, if I could have a dog with that hot woman, that would be awesome, dude!”My horror scenario for the Supernatural ending. It has drama, love and bad jokes. Sorry. Also it's a parody/crack because I'm to nervous to write something proper.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	S-P-End

**Author's Note:**

> Let me just say this: I have never written for Supernatural, I used to be a huge fan and like many I stopped watching years ago and just came back because of the turbo hell memes. I have very little understanding of the plot of the last few seasons, but I’m sure it doesn’t matter anymore who is alive and who isn’t. Here is my version of the last ever Supernatural episode that I might not even watch. It’s a parody but isn’t the show as well by now? Enjoy. 
> 
> Shout out to my friend who reminded me that Adam and Jack are not the same person. Whoopsie.
> 
> (Oh btw, English is not my first language and I don’t have a beta reader. Please excuse any embarrassing mistake I make.)

“Gosh, I can’t believe she came back, Dean. She’s back! Can you imagine?” Sam was running around frantically in Deans workshop. He was joyous, though not yet ready to believe it all. They’d won. They’d beaten god. And now everything was fine. 

Dean had a workshop for cars, because it was literally the only thing, he was remotely qualified to do… except maybe from drinking and – oh yeah – killing monsters that most people didn’t even know existed.  
Sam, however, worked for a small company now. He had a fake lawyer degree, but it was fine, because he had been at university for like two semester and also owned fabulous hair. So naturally this lawyer thing was working out fine. Jack, the new god, had brought Eileen back to live - Sam’s big love. He didn’t as much bring her back but rather gave her to Sam. 

There they were, in the flashback, standing on the final battlefield. Jack smiled.  
“I’m god now!”, he said.  
“Awesome!”, said Dean.  
“Here, Sam. Because you were such a good hunter and like family to me: A woman.” He snapped his fingers and there she was: Eileen. Her hair was… beautiful and long, I guess. I don’t remember her but that’s what all supernatural women look like. Long and beautiful.  
“Eileen!”, exclaimed Sam, ran to her and gave her a kiss.  
She smiled, happily, because she had been given to a dude with fabulous hair.  
“And you Dean… I will give you…” Jack made a small pause, but Dean didn’t let him finish.  
“Cas?”, he asked, unsure but eyes full of hope.  
Jack blinked. “Cas? Why Cas?”  
Dean smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, he’s my best friend. He’s like a brother. He helped us multiple times. Also, he said: ‘I love you’ and made this huge confession and told me how great I was, and I only said: ‘Why does this sound like a good-bye’ without moving a single muscle and in retrospect that was kind of lame of me.”  
Jack nodded. “It was.” Then he shook his head, just to shake things up a bit. “Listen, I was actually planning of giving you this super cool and hot blonde wife. I forgot her name. Was it Danny? Well, it doesn’t matter. But I thought that giving you a wife would be more of a happy ending than bringing an angel back that was in love with you, so you’d have to explore your feelings towards him. Sounded a bit too gay for me. I had a more… let’s say… heteronormative tone in mind.”  
“I mean I get that”, said Dean, not content yet. “But, you know, as I said, he’s family and I kind of want to have him around since you won’t be. And I owe him big time. I won’t make it gay, I swear!”  
Jack looked at him for a long time. “I hear your words”, he said then. “But I still want to make sure, you have the happy ending *I* have in mind for you. Do you understand?”  
A big sigh escaped Deans mouth. You couldn’t argue with the new god, that much was clear. “Jack, I’m very thankful for everything you’re doing. I just don’t think a hot woman alone can end my sorrow.”  
“I understand Dean.”  
“I’m just saying, it’s not that I don’t like hot women, it’s just. I’m hurtin’ a lot right now and I think it needs more than just someone pretty to kiss my wounds.”  
“No Dean. I totally get it.”  
“Yeah, so, Jack, I don’t want to impose but like… Could you…”  
Jack lifted a hand to symbolise Dean it was time to be silent. “You want a dog right?”  
“Hell yeah, man, if I could have a dog with that hot woman, that would be awesome, dude!”  
And so it was.

Back to the present, Sam was still babbling about his luck. After a while Jack had visited him to say he felt kind of sorry that Dean got a hot woman and a dog and Sam had just gotten his long-lost love back. So, he had doubled his offering and now Sam had two hot women.  
“Eileen just doesn’t mind at all, she’s so happy for me!”, laughed Sam, laughingly. “And man, *I’m* happy for me. It’s Jess, Dean. JESS!”  
“I know, man, I was there.”, his brother threw in between Sam’s laughter.  
“Gosh, well. My life is so amazing!”  
“Good for you, Sammie.”  
Something in Dean’s tone must have sounded salty because Sam stopped laughing and running around the workshop and looked at Dean who was sipping a beer, by the way. Just in case you were wondering what he was doing. He leaned on a car and was sipping a beer and he had one of those smeary mechanic’s clothes on his belt.  
Anyway, Sam was looking at Dean with worry in his eyes.  
“Dean… how are you keeping up?”  
Dean’s answer was a long sigh.  
“Ah, it’s fine. I’ve got this workshop that I really care about and I’ve got my dog. I love the dog. Walking him, playing with him… It’s the highlight of my days.”  
Sam smiled. He seemed pleased to hear that.  
“And also you’ve got that hot women, right?”  
“Oh yeah. Her. Yeah. She’s.… She’s cool. Nice. Hot.”  
“Awesome?”, asked Sam hopefully.  
“Yeah, she’s nice.”  
Sam laughed but it didn’t seem all too genuine.  
“Why are you so bummed out? You’ve got everything!”  
“Well I don’t have Cas!”, snapped Dean. “God man, I’m sorry. I’m sorry! It’s just… Ooof it was so awkward when I saw him the last time and I just want to talk!”  
Sam frowned.  
“Damn, I totally forgot about Cas. I mean he was my friend and all but like. I’ve got two wives now. And Jess is pregnant, did I tell you? With triplets!”  
“Oh. Cool, Sam. Good work, I guess.”  
“Yeah, I hope they’re all gonna be blonde. I mean Jess was no natural blonde and neither am I, but one can hope, right?”  
“Sammy… I was talking about Cas just now, remember?”  
“Oh yeah.” He harrumphed. A horrible word. But he did. “Sorry man. Proceed.”  
“Yeah, I also really miss him, dude. He was like my dog: Awesome!”  
“I’ve never heard you talk so candidly about your feelings, Dean!” Sam sounded impressed. Dean had grown. Once a week he was talking to a therapist and he was really making progress. Last time he even called his feelings “a son of a bitch” and “not a bit awesome at all”. He hadn’t thought that he’d come this far.  
Sam had also started to go to therapy. But he just talked about how great everything was, even when the therapist mentioned his trauma and his loss of a close friend. He then just responded: “Who? Oh Cas! Yeah man, I nearly forgot him. Because one of my wives is pregnant now, did I tell you? Triplets. We’re all so excited!”

A year later everything was still very great for the Winchesters. Every few months there were big friends and family meet ups with all the people they had lost and gotten back into their lives. The brothers didn’t quite remember all their names, nor who of them was even still alive. It was mostly fine but once they had called a mother of a friend and made her cry when she told them that their kid had been dead for a few years now. 

The Winchesters were slowly learning that there were no monsters hidden under their beds anymore and the nights they still looked for them got fewer and fewer.

Dean got a daughter and called her Castielle. A beautiful name. She would be his new best friend. Every day he told her how beautiful her blue eyes were and how much he loved her.  
He met with his brother’s family and the kids all played together while the parents watched. 

It was during one of the play dates when Dean stood in the kitchen and got a beer from the fridge. He was feeling weird. Everything was fine. He even learned his now-wife’s name. And still. He felt like something was lacking.  
A flap of wings.  
“Hello Dean.”  
The bottle slipped from Dean’s fingers and burst on the floor. Beer was everywhere. Damn, Jess would hate him for this. It was a pain to mop this stuff from under the fridge.  
Also, Cas was in the room.  
“Are you okay?”, the angel asked.  
“Cas?” Dean couldn’t believe it. That was that guy he named his daughter after! The guy he really kind of liked. But like a brother. He thought. Maybe. Even more than his dog. Probably.  
“I’m alive Dean. I’m back from the turbo hell.”  
“The what?”  
“The hyper super dooper hell.”  
“Oh okay, that. Yeah. Yeah, I see that!” He was still processing. “How though?”  
Cas laughed. “Is that really important? Isn’t it just great that I’m back?”  
Dean nodded. Then he laughed. Then he let out a sob and hugged Cas very firmly. But also, super manly. He waited for the correct amount of time: two seconds (maybe two and a half, because he had thought that guy dead for a year). Next, he patted him on the back. Twice. After that, he separated them.  
Cas smiled. “That was nice. I’m glad to see you.”  
“Yeah man! Listen, I wanted to talk about what you said to me for a year now”, said Dean, carefully. But Cas just shook his head.  
“It’s fine. I know you love me.”  
“Yeah but like a brother. Like in a manly way. Dude.”  
The angel gave him another soft smile and his blue eyes were twinkling with love.  
“I know, Dean. And I love you too like a brother. That’s what I said, didn’t I?”  
Dean blinked a few times. Had he remembered it falsely? Now that he thought about it, it seemed not so unlikely that he had just misunderstood.  
“Dude, you said you changed because of me. You said you loved me.”  
“Yeah, I did. I changed because of you. You made me a better person. And I love you. Because you’re like a brother!”  
Dean barked out a laughter.  
“Ah damn! I just misunderstood? Dude I thought you loved me like a wife.”  
“But I’m a man! I can’t be a wife, Dean!”  
“Like a husband then. Whatever. Dude, you scared me!”  
Cas laughed. “Do not worry, Dean. I love you most platonically!”  
“Oh phew!” So now Dean did not have to talk about his feelings. God, he was lucky.  
“Dean, I’m just here to tell you that Jack asked me to help him. So I’m gonna go home. To heaven. But I will visit for the friend and family meet ups Sam invited me to!”  
“Awesome!”, said Dean and smiled fondly at his best friends. He loved him. Like a brother! It was amazing. All those years he had thought the angel had a crush on him… When they could have just told each how they felt. All those years as nearly boyfriends… Wasted… When they could have been good friends!  
“Good-bye, Dean!”, said Cas.  
“Why does this sound like a good-bye?”, asked Dean.  
“…”, exclaimed Cas. And then: „Because it is.”  
“Huh.”, made Dean.  
“Alright then, good-byeeeeeeeeee!” Like on a string he was pulled up towards heaven. Dean waved. Oh man. How awesome! All was well.


End file.
